Wes -- this is a heavy one. Relatable because we take some of our best love for granted, yet our best love also can be fraught and lack simplicity. My stomach really tightened in some of these moments -- the protagonist's inner struggle....all of it "coming out" to dear friends. And the physical aspects (running in the snow, opening latches) that mirror the inner journey. And how all of this happens in the banal -- halloween party, pizza, snow.
Lisa, thank you dearly for reading my work. I’m so happy to hear that it moved you.
“Yet our best love also can be fraught and lack simplicity” - you hit the nail on the head. I feel like real love allows you to take in the entirety of a person and we are seldom simple or straightforward; we’re human.
I completely agree that the external is supposed to mirror the internal journey. Terrence must figuratively thaw his frozen guilt and shame through this night.
“All of this happens in the banal” - I’m finding so much joy and meaning through writing these stories that often center on the mundane 😀
The dad to offspring emotional connection hits home and tugs at the heartstrings for me, and I’m sure many, esp if your readers replace dad with [blank loved one far away] the way you may have intended. Huge sigh of relief that dad seemed okay at the end, all things considered.
So many fractured parts of us belong with our loved ones if we try to love unconditionally and give & get parts of our souls / essences of who we truly are from family and ancestral lines (my gut says duh, we do lol but what do I know. After all, life is change and what is death if not part of life, if Alfred knows that someday, “We all will” die 🤷♀️)
Also, I saw humor at the end with it being Halloween and maybe dad playing a brutal joke on his kid just for the sake of connecting and being thirsty for that connection as a male in our society who may have to crack jokes to force the deep connections that humans usually crave (though a heart attack isn’t anything to joke about, don’t get me wrong). The snow angels made me giggle though. Thanks 🙌
The words belong to us all, totally. And thank YOU for sharing them.
The morality question is a philosophical one we might be able to answer in our next lives! I am cracking myself up, but in all seriousness, it’s definitely an important facet of the eternal struggle of being human.
I’m so glad you didn’t leave the dad’s fate up in the air. In all honesty, I would have blamed my phone or internet connection because I personally have difficulty with open endings like that. But maybe the protagonist not being the father figure is the point, which is food for thought for me and my interpretation of first person perspective and narratives in writing of all kinds.
Thank you for sharing the behind the scenes alternative ending! That’s really cool. My heart is glad at the female devil idea, which isn’t common from where I stand. But then - this is my gut&brain reaction - I would wonder if the devil is meant to be the female friend in this story. I would then wonder what that means for Terrance 😂 too many mental gymnastics loops to close that I would weave together and assume and tie with a bow on top, but is that fair to anyone involved (writer and reader)? Tbh, not sure. The gleeful snow angels is a comforting childhood memory visual turned adult fun, which settled my emotions back and left me content 🤷♀️
Yoooooo, this comment is more insightful than you even know! I love this about putting words into the Aether. It belongs to the reader just as much as the writer.
I totally agree that the father could be any of our distant loved ones yearning for connection. With family and just as with friends, there is this tension between wanting to have as much of them as possible, but also respecting that they are on their own path. We grasp at the slivers of interactions that we can get before time, work, life, etc pull them away. But no matter how much we attempt to accept our mortality, can we ever truly understand it? That feels like an eternal struggle. Also, I almost left the Dad's fate undetermined, but that would have been too cruel.
The "Happy Halloween" as a dark joke by the father is a fascinating interpretation. I feel it's totally within the character of the dad to do such a thing to cut the tension. Sometimes dark humor is the only way to process the shock of something so serious.
For some relevant "behind the scenes", I removed a section right before the final line about the snow angels, which was a joke between Terrence and Alfred. I was torn on whether to keep it, but believed the tighter ending served the story better. The deleted portion went like this:
"By the way, Alfred, how did you know I left our apartment?” I say.
He chuckles. “The devil told me. She complained that the front door was wide open.”
“The devil is a liar.”
Ultimately, I felt this was just me the writer showing off my cleverness instead of serving the story as a whole. So, I'm glad you still found humor in the finalized ending 😃
I really appreciate the father- son conversation. Though there’s not a lot of depth in terms of the topic discussed, there’s transparent nuance to the relationship. A line that really stands out to me is, “He always calls when I’m busy, though I guess I never call when I’m free.” It really hit home how we take our people for granted until something threatens our access. Thanks for this story, and giving it room to breathe.
Yea, their conversation is supposed to represent the mix of guilt, love, frustration, etc. The spectrum of emotions we feel with our loved ones, typically the only people we allow to get close enough to us that we tolerate such conflicting emotions.
I'm glad you enjoyed the longer story! They take more effort, but definitely feel more rewarding once completed.
“my phone buzzed. Dad, but I ignored it. He always calls when I’m busy, though I guess I never call when I’m free.” - this!
This one has a lot of layers man. The Dad, Alfred, Stacy…. It was cool to see you develop more characters and some got keep me enthralled yet not confused. Blurry but engaged. The way it’s written makes the reader feel “drunk or hungover” which creates cool empathy for Terrance
I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it! It's definitely supposed to feel disorienting as you follow Terrence's journey (and recollections) through the night. I'm happy to hear the balance between that and it's readability came off well.
Wes -- this is a heavy one. Relatable because we take some of our best love for granted, yet our best love also can be fraught and lack simplicity. My stomach really tightened in some of these moments -- the protagonist's inner struggle....all of it "coming out" to dear friends. And the physical aspects (running in the snow, opening latches) that mirror the inner journey. And how all of this happens in the banal -- halloween party, pizza, snow.
Lisa, thank you dearly for reading my work. I’m so happy to hear that it moved you.
“Yet our best love also can be fraught and lack simplicity” - you hit the nail on the head. I feel like real love allows you to take in the entirety of a person and we are seldom simple or straightforward; we’re human.
I completely agree that the external is supposed to mirror the internal journey. Terrence must figuratively thaw his frozen guilt and shame through this night.
“All of this happens in the banal” - I’m finding so much joy and meaning through writing these stories that often center on the mundane 😀
The dad to offspring emotional connection hits home and tugs at the heartstrings for me, and I’m sure many, esp if your readers replace dad with [blank loved one far away] the way you may have intended. Huge sigh of relief that dad seemed okay at the end, all things considered.
So many fractured parts of us belong with our loved ones if we try to love unconditionally and give & get parts of our souls / essences of who we truly are from family and ancestral lines (my gut says duh, we do lol but what do I know. After all, life is change and what is death if not part of life, if Alfred knows that someday, “We all will” die 🤷♀️)
Also, I saw humor at the end with it being Halloween and maybe dad playing a brutal joke on his kid just for the sake of connecting and being thirsty for that connection as a male in our society who may have to crack jokes to force the deep connections that humans usually crave (though a heart attack isn’t anything to joke about, don’t get me wrong). The snow angels made me giggle though. Thanks 🙌
Can’t wait for the next one!
The words belong to us all, totally. And thank YOU for sharing them.
The morality question is a philosophical one we might be able to answer in our next lives! I am cracking myself up, but in all seriousness, it’s definitely an important facet of the eternal struggle of being human.
I’m so glad you didn’t leave the dad’s fate up in the air. In all honesty, I would have blamed my phone or internet connection because I personally have difficulty with open endings like that. But maybe the protagonist not being the father figure is the point, which is food for thought for me and my interpretation of first person perspective and narratives in writing of all kinds.
Thank you for sharing the behind the scenes alternative ending! That’s really cool. My heart is glad at the female devil idea, which isn’t common from where I stand. But then - this is my gut&brain reaction - I would wonder if the devil is meant to be the female friend in this story. I would then wonder what that means for Terrance 😂 too many mental gymnastics loops to close that I would weave together and assume and tie with a bow on top, but is that fair to anyone involved (writer and reader)? Tbh, not sure. The gleeful snow angels is a comforting childhood memory visual turned adult fun, which settled my emotions back and left me content 🤷♀️
Yoooooo, this comment is more insightful than you even know! I love this about putting words into the Aether. It belongs to the reader just as much as the writer.
I totally agree that the father could be any of our distant loved ones yearning for connection. With family and just as with friends, there is this tension between wanting to have as much of them as possible, but also respecting that they are on their own path. We grasp at the slivers of interactions that we can get before time, work, life, etc pull them away. But no matter how much we attempt to accept our mortality, can we ever truly understand it? That feels like an eternal struggle. Also, I almost left the Dad's fate undetermined, but that would have been too cruel.
The "Happy Halloween" as a dark joke by the father is a fascinating interpretation. I feel it's totally within the character of the dad to do such a thing to cut the tension. Sometimes dark humor is the only way to process the shock of something so serious.
For some relevant "behind the scenes", I removed a section right before the final line about the snow angels, which was a joke between Terrence and Alfred. I was torn on whether to keep it, but believed the tighter ending served the story better. The deleted portion went like this:
"By the way, Alfred, how did you know I left our apartment?” I say.
He chuckles. “The devil told me. She complained that the front door was wide open.”
“The devil is a liar.”
Ultimately, I felt this was just me the writer showing off my cleverness instead of serving the story as a whole. So, I'm glad you still found humor in the finalized ending 😃
Thank you for reading.
I really appreciate the father- son conversation. Though there’s not a lot of depth in terms of the topic discussed, there’s transparent nuance to the relationship. A line that really stands out to me is, “He always calls when I’m busy, though I guess I never call when I’m free.” It really hit home how we take our people for granted until something threatens our access. Thanks for this story, and giving it room to breathe.
Yea, their conversation is supposed to represent the mix of guilt, love, frustration, etc. The spectrum of emotions we feel with our loved ones, typically the only people we allow to get close enough to us that we tolerate such conflicting emotions.
I'm glad you enjoyed the longer story! They take more effort, but definitely feel more rewarding once completed.
“my phone buzzed. Dad, but I ignored it. He always calls when I’m busy, though I guess I never call when I’m free.” - this!
This one has a lot of layers man. The Dad, Alfred, Stacy…. It was cool to see you develop more characters and some got keep me enthralled yet not confused. Blurry but engaged. The way it’s written makes the reader feel “drunk or hungover” which creates cool empathy for Terrance
I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it! It's definitely supposed to feel disorienting as you follow Terrence's journey (and recollections) through the night. I'm happy to hear the balance between that and it's readability came off well.