Boxes of Huggies and Pampers and Up & Up filled the basements shelves of Target as I debated what gift would minimize the annoyance of two newborn parents. We’re talking less than ten days new. I didn’t know what to get, what was best for their baby, but couldn’t ask either. All I’ve heard are the stories of no sleep, unwanted visits, and hoards of unwanted packages from well-meaning friends, especially non-parents, cluttering spaces into a claustrophobic den of cries and cardboard.
My wife gave me a simple mission. Buy muslin towels and onesies. I spent ten minutes scouring the back of the store, scanning nooks I may have missed, assessing lotions and powders. What even is a muslin towel? A quick check with Claude showed they are very comfortable and I could have enjoyed being wrapped in an adult-sized muslin, maybe with some jazz pumped through some noise-cancelling headphones. Sadly, none of my assigned bounty was present. I huffed and scrambled through the store to find some distracted help in a red vest.
“Excuse me,” I said, “can I get some help?”
Having stopped from walking the opposite direction, they looked up from their phone with an eye roll.
“I’m looking for muslin towels and onesies.”
“We don’t carry clothes in this store. Towels are in the bath section.” They were already headed away.
A Target with staff that guides you to kitchen towels and doesn’t carry clothes gets filed away as a store I won’t be visiting if I ever have a kid. It was back to basics, ready to just pick up what I could fit in my backpack: bleachable kitchen towels, non-fragrant baby wipes, and lotion. They seemed like useful items. Worst case, could take them back home to the cabinet under our sink.
After checking out, I headed to the park to catch our friends on their baby’s first walk. Usually, I skip out on the early public appearances of friend’s parents. My normal answer to “are you sick or recently been around someone sick?” is “it doesn’t matter, I don’t want that kind of responsibility.” I don’t want to see a baby bad enough to have the potential guilt of their pain and suffering on my conscience, but it was warm and breezy outside, and those gifts had to get delivered.
I followed them along the park on a long walk, their blue dot steadily a few blocks away on the map, wanting to call them to slow down but distracted by thoughts of how my life would change with a baby in tow. It took half-an hour for the whole group, with a few extra friends and another baby, to slow down and stop at a coffee shop, my feet welcoming the respite.
No screams, no tears, there were smiles all around the sturdy strollers and swarm of adults. They exchanged tips from the doctors and other older parents they knew, enjoying the smell of fresh scones and wind off the water.
At someone’s shoulder appeared an older lady. “Crazy lady” popped in my head, not because of her weathered clothing or scraggly sneakers, but because I just don’t trust strangers who stand and stare at children.
“How old are they?” she asked.
Nobody answered.
“How old are they?” She asked again, louder, stepping closer to hover her head into the group.
In my head I’m like “old enough to back your ass up,” but before I could get belligerent, a more amenable and eloquent person among us answered honestly and ushered her away.
Hot coffees in hand, we all walked back to the park, getting filled in on the recent action of the week. I pleaded our friends’ forgiveness for my cheap off-brand Target haul. Although, you can always use wet wipes.
Hahaha, sorry - i suggested muslin baby wraps and onesies to M when she asked me what in my view makes a good gift for newborn. When I tried to double check that she knew what muslin was, she replied rather quickly and very confidently that she knew exactly what it was! Also I'm shocked Target doesn't carry baby clothes!? Anyway, babyhood is brief, but baby wipes will outlast us all.
I love baby wipes, we have them everywhere, always.
"distracted by thoughts of how my life would change with a baby in tow"
it's been wild, but also so worth it :)